Challenge and Support

For some reason, there seems to be a serious lack of student affairs professionals in reality television. I think this is a shame. Why, you ask? Well, for one, I love reality television, and I’d love to root on someone of “my kind.” More importantly, I think student affairs professionals could win pretty much every reality show by virtue of the demands of the profession. Crazy, right? Not so much. Let me give you a few examples. . .

#1 Survivor
Forming alliances? Puh-lease. Try navigating campus politics.

#2 American Gladiators
Bring on the meatheads. I’d take my chances in The Eliminator with people named Wolf and Hellga any day over trying to calm the ire of a demanding parent.

#3 The Real World
Honestly, I’m too boring to be on The Real World. I’m not even exciting enough to be the token roommate who doesn’t go out, and everyone proceeds to forget about when they look back on a season. However, give me some time with those Real World kiddos who do make the cut, and I could challenge and support their faces off. The transitions that might happen would blow your mind.

#4 Kid Nation
Obviously we can’t be on this one, but what if they did an undergraduate version? I can see it now. In season one, a residence hall is devoid of all hall directors and student staff, and the new residents are left to navigate move-in alone. In season two, sororities have to navigate recruitment without the help of on-campus advisors. I have no doubt that these seasons would both quickly go the way of Lord of the Flies, and for that reason, and so many more, I’d totally tune in.

P.S. Please note that some shows are so far gone that not even Chickering himself could salvage them to make them into something worthwhile. These include, but are not limited to: Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, I Love New York, The Hills, and any dating show on MTV.

It’s just been a week for crazy talk outside my office. I present to you this little gem of dialogue:

Girl 1: Just come to my room. I have tampons.
Girl 2: Are they big ones?
Girl 1: Yeah.
Girl 2: Ok, good.

…I must have something crazy in my ear.

From the “students say the darndest things” files…

Overheard outside my office:
Girl 1: I’m interested in Ancient Greek, so I’m taking Greek, because it should be easier to learn Ancient if I learn that.
Girl 2: There’s still Greek?
Girl 1: The language? Yeah, people still speak greek.
Girl 2: Oh, wow. I had no idea.
Me: …. *blink* …..

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

But it sure makes an appealing headline, doesn’t it?

I could also go with “What does the writers’ strike mean for Higher Education?”

Funny enough… same answer.

What I wouldn’t give for some aspect of pop culture to have a direct and significant impact on my job. I could have all my friends calling me up saying, “Oh no, how is your school responding to _______?”

Instead, we get serious stuff. How are we responding to Northern Illinois? Virginia Tech? Stanford’s tuition?

Seriously? Can I have a FUN dilemma, please?

Anybody care to help me put together a plan of action to follow if, for some reason, heaven forbid, we ever have to deal with the imminent crisis of Matt Damon getting liposuction after gaining 200lbs for a starring role in The White Fat Albert?

People, we need to have a plan. Parents will be calling. Students will be scared. We can’t let this happen without a course of action ready to go.

I mentioned it earlier — it’s job search season. I’m on a couple different email listservs, so I get a good influx of recruitment emails that I’m supposed to pass along to colleagues who might be interested. It’s a good idea, despite the fact that it fills my already full in-box with even more of what I like to call “e-flotsam and jetsam.”

But this article isn’t about the fact that I’m getting emails. My aim today is to poke fun at what the emails say. Careful selection of a recruitment theme is at the heart of a successful campaign.

Because these things trickle in at an unpredictable rate, I propose a (potential) series of posts featuring the funny, quirky, and sometimes absurd recruitment themes from the realm of higher education. If you find any, please send them my way.

Exhibit 1: Arizona State University - “Find Yourself in the Desert”
Here’s the catch with this one. It’s all about emphasis. Why do you go on a spiritual journey? To find yourself, of course! I think that’s the idea ASU was trying to present with this theme. However, you can also get lost and find yourself in the middle of the desert. That’s the unfortunate interpretation that hits me when I read that. This really does nothing more than instill feelings of solitude, lonliness, and dry, flaky skin.

Exibit 2: Appalachian is Hot Hot Hot!
No list would really be complete without the mock recruitment video from Appalachian State. Yeah, it’s fake. But it sure is funny.

In conclusion…
I know that so many of these schools are quality institutions. I understand how hard it is to come up with a theme, or how it is when you find a theme that you think is the best thing since the 7th vector. I’ve been there. I sincerely hope that candidates who are searching for schools will look past cheesy themes and look at the substance of a program when making their decision. Really, I do. We can all have a good laugh at ourselves from time to time, right?